Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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