i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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