Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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