He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
