I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
