my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
