Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
