Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
