I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
