You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
