Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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