I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
why is half of my head shaved?
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