he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
