Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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