It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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