dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
