mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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