i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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