Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
