If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
