My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
