This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
