yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
