By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
