just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
