If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
