i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
