The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You left your underwear on the fireplace
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
