I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
