What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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