You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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