as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
