Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
