Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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