thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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