Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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