Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
