I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need water and some morals
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
