We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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