..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize