Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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