hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
