I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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