My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
