I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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