that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I accidentally burped into my bong.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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