he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
