they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
