Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize