I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
