I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize