i think i have herpe
just one?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
