If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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