god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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