wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
