it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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