The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
