At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
