Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
