can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
