If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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