I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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